Good for Ages:
4-12.
Have you tried all your usual discipline techniques to solve a problem with
your child and nothing's worked? Using a chart may be just the fresh approach
you need, according to Penny Hutchins Paquette and Cheryl Gerson Tuttle,
co-authors of Parenting a Child with a Behavior Problem (Lowell House
Books).
When It Works: Keeping a chart, with stickers or stars to mark
behavioral improvements, works well with chronic problems, like whining or messy
rooms, that drive parents crazy. Among other things, Penny Paquette notes,
charting teaches delayed gratification, "that you don't automatically get
things because you're cute, but because you earned it and waited for it."
In terms of effectiveness, charts and time-outs are polar opposites: Time out
doesn't work when you use it all the time, while charts never work unless you
do!
Why It Works: A chart is a "visual cue" for kids; they don't
just hear complaints or praise, they can actually see change. It's a way to get
them involved in the discipline strategy; they can help make the chart or
perhaps choose a reward.
When It Doesn't Work: Keeping a chart can be a difficult task for kids
with attention difficulties; lots of parental involvement is needed. Parents
also need to assess their own schedules; if you start a chart and don't have
time to keep it up, it undercuts the message that behavioral change is
important. Finally, don't start 17 charts. Your child may whine, leave dirty
socks lying around, and forget to do his homework, but focus on just one
behavior problem at a time.
Caution: Don't promise a trip to Disney World in return for a
semester's worth of completed homework assignments. Even Pokemon cards or candy
bars are the wrong incentives, Paquette and Tuttle believe. The authors urge
parents to use "gifts of time" to reward kids for good behavior. A
family Monopoly tournament or a prized half-hour extension on bedtime send kids
the message, "When you behave nicely, I want to be with you." If there
are no behavioral improvements within a week, the chart is probably not having
its intended effect.